Monday, December 26, 2016

Taking the Power Away

It has been a while since my step-monster has said anything to me. It has been around four years since she banged on the bathroom door because she took offense at me using the hair dryer too long. She had me sit down at the table and in front of my father and siblings said that I was "going to be a good little girl" and not misbehave anymore or she was "going to make my life a living hell."

I have thankfully never met another person that was quite as fucked up in the head as she is. However, I have heard of people with similar experiences on forums on Reddit. It has meant so much to me to share and receive feedback from supporters and fellow survivors.

I began to pull back from the communities because I spent so much time just trying to forget everything that happened and move on. I did not want the most interesting bit about me be the sexual and mental abuse suffered at the hands of my parents. I am tip-toeing back and facing this fear, however. Because this is larger than me. I am a part of the human experience and I feel that for every story that is told, the abusers lose the power that they once had. Of course, my intention is to bring awareness to the cycle of abuse, how to recognize it and protect ourselves. A lot of my regret centers around how much I did not speak out about the transgressions against me and my family when it was happening; unfortunately, I had no idea that what was happening was not normal.

I can't wait to get back in touch with all of you. I do want to hear the stories of those who were hurt, but more importantly, I want to hear where we are now. Abuse does not define us. Abuse is not about us. It may have happened to us, but we are not what others have done. We are more than just survivors.

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